We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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