how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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