If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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