I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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