I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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