i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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