Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
being pregnant is like rehab
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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