Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
