Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
