Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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