My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
