That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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