Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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