Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.

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(631): View more from New York

Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.

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(714): View more from California

I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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(587): View more from Alberta

It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.

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(734): View more from Michigan

His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Congratulations! We have a period

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