JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
