Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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