what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
