Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
