bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
