I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
