; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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