spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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