You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
