you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
