Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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