i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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