Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize