That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
