It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
