I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
