When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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