Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
