I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My first STD was from a foam party
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
