Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
