Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
