Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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