i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
