I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
