she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Your penis caused this!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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