Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
