I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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