do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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