Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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