How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
