she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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