wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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