i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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