TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize