You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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