hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
