I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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