I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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