I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
