Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
