He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
