did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just gargled with NyQuil
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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