Screwed.edu
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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