3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
