That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
