i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
