Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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(949): View more from California

so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.

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(315): View more from New York

The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.

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