Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize