Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
