Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
